I am not a super avid blogger, as some of you know, but I am quickly becoming fascinated by it. I just realized why I am drawn to it . . . sometimes I just like to log onto my own page and read my own life, I like spending time there---my life looks so simple on the computer. Everything is neat and orderly, everything stays where I put it. The girls are dressed, hair done, clean, smiling--captured at their best--no one is fighting, crying, whining, sad, dramatic-- Each snapshot a bright moment. Music I enjoy is playing.
Reality. Not so simple. Busy. Unorganized. Everyone needs a piece of your time, attention, talents. NOTHING stays where you put it, at least not for very long. And the next day . . . I do it all again--run. But some days, I don't think I'll win the race, run. All day long--but it is not enough. But Mom, can't slow down, she is too many things, to too many people.
And then, we get to Sunday. The day of Rest. No. Just a different kind of running--so much responsibility. All of my Young Women. Can't let them down. Just breath, pray--hope God is listening today.
Simplify. Where? How? What can possibly be cut out? Have to do everything.
I really am alright. Just overwhelmed. I am sure, I am not alone--life was not meant to be easy. I think God is helping me grow-it hurts. I like being small and simple, but He needs me to be more. And I am trying.
A lot has changed...
1 year ago
8 comments:
Chrissy,
I am with you. It seems like EVERYDAY isn't long enough to please everyone that is in need of attention and LOVE. Just know that you are not alone, and you have so many people behind you. If you EVER want to talk, vent, cry or whatever I will be happy that be that person! Hope today is a little better then the last. Try and make a little time for yourself.
Breathe.....just breathe. That is all you can do. You do your best, and it has to be good enough! I think that we are all too hard on ourselves. We never feel like "enough" is enough. Why is that? Even now that all my kids are married and left this nest, my mind still races like it did when they were all at home. Maybe we are just wired that way. Your Mom probably feels the same way. Sometimes you just have to plug your ears to everything & everybody, and rejuvenate yourself!
If that's selfish, then so be it.
I love you and I am sure you know this already, but you are everything I want to be. You are such a wonderful example to me- I am so lucky to have you as my sister :)
Chris, I hear you! Sometimes I feel like that too (okay, I should say that sometimes I don't feel like that!). You are an amazing woman! I think it's awesome that you share your time and talents blessing so many people's lives and I love that you read your own blog because I think that is one of my favorite activities. I hope you get a minute to do something fun for you. I miss you and love you lots!
Hey Woman, I guess I hear ya in a different way. I am pulled in a thousand different directions at school, but then I can walk away from it all at 3:00. In a way though I can't imagine my life not feeling needed, so think of it that way. By giving to others we are growing in everyway. Yes,it may be hard, and you may seem lost in the sea of giving. Just remember like everyone says to take time out for yourself. My favorite is laying on my bed and just letting my body sink into it, then just putting on some soft music and taking some deep breaths. Sounds cheesy, but it helps. Remember you are an amazing person, and tomorrow is always a new day. If you did the best you could for the day that's all that matters. Some days you just have more to give then others right? Your girls are the best kids I have ever met, and love is not blind here! You and Scott have done an awesome job. Last thing, just remember that when you think people don't notice what you do, and who you are, you are wrong. Everyone around is caught up in your glow when you come in a room. People do notice! I love you with all my heart..Bec
You're not trying you're SUCCEEDING! At least that's what we've always seen. Just take a step back and look what you've accomplished...beautiful, smart children. A husband who knows he's loved and who's taken care of. Young Women who are SO lucky to have you as their president. I could go on, seriously. You're amazing Chris and I know two people in Mesa AZ (I'm talking about Kyle and I) who really truly look up to you and Scott. You guys have accomplished so much in your lives thus far and you're still so young! I find myself quoting you when I'm trying to be a better mom and sometimes just thinking I don't know how Christina does all she does and keeps the house clean, family in order, scriptures, prayer, church, callings, staying fit, etc! You are doing a wonderful job. I thank you for being such a shining example to so many women including myself!
I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like that somedays. I only have one kid, and I feel like all I do is repeat cleaning and cooking somedays. That's why I loved President Uchtdorf's talk at the RS broadcast....I know it was for me and the millions of women out there who are too hard on ourselves. Sounds like you've already been given some good advice, so I'll just agree with them. :) I'll just add that what helps me sometimes is remembering what my priorities are. I'm not superwoman---sometimes spending a little extra time with Payton is more important than super-cute handouts to my YW. Or that I need 20 minutes of "ME" time, so I'll sit and read a book while the mess around me waits. We love you guys and miss you guys. Let us know if there's ever anything we can do for you. And btw, I emjoy looking at our blog and reviewing the pictures with Payton...he loves it!
Christina - your entry made me breathe a sigh of relief that I am not the only woman/wife/mother who feels like that. There are days when I feel like I have been running ragged and I am still in the same place I was before (or even farther behind) - it can be frustrating, painful, and discouraging. Just know that I have always looked up to you and your amazing spirit. To me, you are perfect just the way you are. I am sure your husband, kids, young women, etc. feel the exact same way. If you ever feel like you are having a bad day, come visit our house. I can pretty much guarantee it is messier, more chaotic, more dramatic, etc. around here. And like Brandi said, anytime you feel like you need an outlet to vent - I am here for you. I will drop everything and be there for you in an instant. All you have to do is ask! I love you!
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