My Good Girls. "Journaling"

So I don't praise my children enough--in writing my blog-- I do expect a lot from them--emotionally, physically, mentally, behaviorally (is that even a word?) spiritually . . . You get the drift. Sometimes I honestly forget that they are JUST little girls. I mean really. They are so young.

They are really GOOD girls. They are sweet and thoughtful. Obedient and forgiving. Teachable and enthusiastic. Respectful and intelligent. I love them so dearly. So honestly. So deeply. They have taught me how to be the person that I am. (Although I still need a lot of work . . . I would definitely be more selfish and self absorbed with out them.) They make our home a happy and bright place to be. They make my life exciting and full of joy! They truly do rise to any task I ask of them and I see them striving to be the kind of girls I am trying to teach them to be. I want them to be better than me, do more than I did---excel!! I love them for their individual personalities---I am enchanted by different things in all 3 of them.

Sam for her intelligence, she really is gifted. She is so quick and so smart. Her brain works fast--school work holds no challenge for her and listening to her read . . . well my eyes can barely keep up with her mouth. Fascinating. My own brain processes things MUCH slower. We all know Sam got Scott's brain power . . . Which is fine with me, you always hope your children get the good-stuff out of the gene-pool. :) Sam is also very confident. She doesn't doubt herself or what she knows. I love watching her grow-up and as she approaches this "tween" stage, I see her trying to define her own sense of style. Become her own person. Sam is very responsible and dependable---with an inner need to please---she wants to be GOOD, she wants to be OBEDIENT. She feels life deeply. I love you Sam. Thanks for teaching me how to take care of babies, you were my first and I learned sooo much.

McKenzie for her thoughtfulness. She is always thinking of others--IF you give her a candy, she wants one for her sisters or she is thinking how she can split it with her sisters. She is a good friend to the other kids at school, she gets along with everyone. Kenz is ALWAYS up for ANYTHING!! She is open and excited for experiences. She tried lots of new things this summer and just loved them all. I always love that when I ask her how she slept she answers, "Great!" Which is usually her response to most things in life. She started DANCE this year and I have seen her grow so much in her confidence. She used to come "un-hinged" when she couldn't do something, but not anymore. She is so tender inside. She feels bad when I am sad. She needs a hug when she is sad. She reminds me sooo much of myself---in looks, actions, re-actions . . . mini-Christina. This sometimes makes me extra hard on her, because I see my own weakness coming out in her, I am really working on this. Kenzie is, of course, her own person. I have no right to project my own insecurities on her. I love you Kenz, Thanks for being my angel baby, for showing me that babies can be joyful. :)

Whitney for her sense of humor. She is always teasing us and finding ways to be silly or make us laugh. Whitney is sweet and cuddly. She loves her "night night" fiercely. And loves that her Nana made it for her, it is a big deal to her (for some reason?). Whitney is "socially smart" she "gets" what is going on around her, she catches the in's and out's of relationships---connections--- Whitney loves to sing and dance! She makes up her own little songs and twirls around. She adores "Sisters" and always wants to play with them and do EVERYTHING that they are doing. Whit loves to be rocked (still, at 3 1/2---which I love and could never get enough of :)) She will ask me in the mornings to rock her. She loves that she gets to stay home with me---she confirms each morning, "Sisters have to go to school, and I get to stay home with Mommy." I adore Whitney. She is spunky, funny, and sweet. She feels bad- instantly- when she realizes that she has done something wrong. She dissolves into tears and says over and over, "I sorry Mama, I'n so sorry. Will you forgive me?" I love you Whitney. Thanks for bringing so much joy and laughter into our home.

My girls are beautiful and resilient. I hope that my personal short comings and parenting mistakes will not leave lasting or devastating scars on my special girls. I pray all the time to be a good mother. It is my deepest desire. My greatest ambition. I feel the responsibility of raising these girls, it is enormous. As their mother I know that I have the most influence on them--for good and for bad. They are shaped by everything I do and say. My constant prayer is for help and for forgiveness---I hope God will make of my girls what I failed to make of them. I am human and flawed, but I love my girls with all that I have. And I just have to hope that it will be enough. I am grateful for the opportunity I have to be a mother. I am grateful to be carrying a son. I am awed and amazed at my body--carrying this new life inside. I love him so much and I haven't even met him yet. I pray that he will be healthy and strong and that everything will go well and that we will get to welcome him into our home in February. I am truly blessed.