After-the-Fact . . . RSV . . . and the things I am grateful for

Journaling

So just let me preface this with . . . Dallas is doing wonderful now: fat, happy, and healthy and 14 pounds @ 3 months old!! About 2 weeks ago he came down with RSV, For those of you who are not familiar with this sickness, RSV is a nasty virus in which the body produces high amounts of mucus, more than can be easily expelled by a newborn baby. The mucus can build up so fast that a baby can suffocate to death very quickly. For preemies--it is very deadly and they are usually hospitalized, for a healthy newborn it is still scary, but will usually run its course in 7-10 days. Dallas obviously falls into the later category--with the added bonus that he is HUGE for his age, 90th% for his height and weight, making him as big as most 5-6 month old babies instead of a typical newborn size. His size was definitely a blessing when dealing with RSV because his airways are larger and easier to clear out. So over the weekend, he started coming down with, what I thought was a head cold and he was coughing with a stuffy nose and a slight fever. Then on Monday, I had taken Sam to piano lessons, and after we got home Dallas was asleep in his car seat. I just left him all cozy in his car seat and set him in his room. I went into the kitchen to make dinner, about 15 min's later I heard him coughing, so I went into get him. I unstrapped him and as I was lifting him out he started to turn red in the face. He wasn't coughing or breathing. I walked with him towards our front room. Down the hallway, he started to turn from red to purple and his eyes were bulging out, I was shaking him and saying over and over, "Dallas breath!! Dallas BREATH!" all the while praying an incoherent prayer of, "Please God, help him breath!! Please God help him! Help Him!" I finally flipped him over and hit him on the back (like you would if they were choking) and solid snot shot out of his nose. That instant he went pale and limp. All the blood drained from his face and body. His eyes were wide, swollen, his pupils dilated . . .they were just rolling around in his head. His right eye was bleeding, a thin trail of blood leaking out of the outer corner. All across his forehead were small purple spots where he had burst his blood vessels from all the built up pressure. I was terrified. The most scared I have ever been in my life, I thought I was losing him. Again over and over, "Please God help Him!" With hands shaking so badly I could barely hold the phone I dialed Scott, all the while wondering if I should do CPR? Call 911? Dallas was breathing. Slightly. But yes, Breathing. I was shaking too much to find a pulse. When do you resuscitate? Was I losing him? Again, "Please God Help Him, don't let me lose him!" I couldn't reach Scott on the phone. I immediately called my parents. My Dad answered. " Dad! Dad! Dallas turned Purple and couldn't breath, now he is limp and pale! He needs a blessing!" Dad and Mom were right over. Dad gave Dallas a blessing. I am still terrified, shaking, crying, cradling Dallas in my arms. Willing him to "wake up!" BREATH DEEP. He is so chalky. His skin doesn't feel right under my hand. Cool and pale. We get in the car. My Mom drives. I get a hold of Scott. He meets us at the Doctor's office. Halfway into town, Dallas finally coughs!!! He coughs and coughs, color finally comes back into his face! He starts to cry! I am so happy. He starts to really breath and look at me. I am still shaking and upset, but starting to realize that he is not dying. He is going to be alright. I have a difficult time letting this sink in. The entire time we are with the doctor I am weepy, still so worried. We find out that Dallas has RSV. They test him for dehydration and his oxygen levels. He is not dehydrated and his oxygen is at 89 (it should be 90 or above). I learn that when I had taken him out in the dry air (to run Sam to piano) the mucus that was in his lungs and nose had dried and clotted; so that when we came home he was very plugged up, causing him to pass out with lack of oxygen. I learned that with RSV, you have to keep the mucus wet and "moving" so that he can get it out. This meant never letting him stay in the same position for too long. We needed to move him from his back, to his side, to his tummy frequently. Also patting him on the back to break it up. For the next week we couldn't let him leave the house. We kept him next to the humidifier 24/7 and put saline up his nose and constantly suctioned out his nose. We were lucky to get to care for him at home. They offered to put him in the hospital, but where he was not dehydrated and his oxygen level was not that low, we could keep him at home. RSV is a Virus. There is not much they could do for him at the hospital that we couldn't do for him at home. It was a constant vigil of care, to keep his airways clear. We were also able to give him breathing treatments via a nebulizer 4 times in a 24 hour period. After about 7 days, he made VAST improvements! The mucus stopped and he only had a slight cough. He has continued to make major improvements and is now as healthy as ever! I am so grateful for the priesthood power in our life. I am grateful for the power of prayer, to find strength beyond my own. To have the strength to care for Dallas through the night and all day, without getting exhausted. I am grateful for Scott. He spent every available minute home with us, helping to care for Dallas. He was up with us during the night and was able to give me a few hours of time to get out of the house--to shop and exercise-- during the week. I am grateful for my mother-in-law who just showed up one evening to help get the kids to bed, do dishes, and laundry. I was very grateful for her help and how it was a big boost to me---she came over to find me sitting in a pile of unsorted laundry and a sink full of dirty dishes (Scott had to be gone that night) all the while trying not to lose perspective and be humble enough to accept help, because I can't do it all. Thanks Diann. I love you. :) With the help of the Lord, my family and Scott's family we were able to get through a very trying week. And now, Dallas is doing so wonderful!! He is a fighter and so strong. I love you bubba. Thank you, God, for sending him to us, and for letting us keep him.